Dear Fellow Momma - On Mother's Day
Taken by our dear friend, Haely White while she was passing by for a distant hello during quarantine 2020.
{3 minute read}
Dear Fellow Momma (of littles, during quarantine) on Mother’s Day,
It may have taken a global pandemic for the world to realize that it’s us Moms who often sacrifice our needs for society to function. Us Moms who often carry the weight of the world. And you know what? It’s getting really heavy.
How many times have you heard during quarantine, “I don’t know how you do this with little ones at home” (yes, it’s hard) or “you must be exhausted” (also, yes) and my favorite “you must be so entertained all day!” (sometimes yes, but most of the time, no).
The truth is, I don’t know how we do it, either. We’ve become the teacher (teachers are my new heroes), chef (how is it that all the world’s children are going through a growth spurt at the same time?), maid, referee, cuddler, chief logistics officer all while desperately craving some space and freedom to breath.
As the often invisible glue that holds families together - we are finally “seen” by the world for all we do. All we handle. All we sacrifice. All the love we give.
But here’s the big question, DO YOU “see” you?
When you step on a lego, then look around at the mess that surrounds the kids while they are on their iPads (again), do you first think about the 175 meals you’ve cooked and cleaned up in the past 56 days and cut yourself a break? Or do you look around and think “Damn, I’m not measuring up”
I’ve been there. “Hi, I’m Karen and I’m an overachiever.”
As women and natural overachievers, we hold ourselves to VERY high standards. So when the house is a mess, the kids are on screens, you’ve “lost it” more than you’d like - we are quick to come down on ourselves. In these moments, we don’t see all the good we are doing and all we are sacrificing to make our kids and families ok.
We don’t see that even on a bad day, our kids still light up when they see us. US. Their love for us runs deep and is a testament to our loyal and tireless work here on Earth. We’re the clock that makes the family tick - the glue that holds all the perfectly messy pieces together - especially now.
When it feels like you’re not measuring up - you’re wrong - you’re doing MORE THAN enough.
The expectations we have placed on ourselves are unsustainable. You’re doing the best that you can in an incredibly challenging situation. And the truth is, none of us know what we’re doing! So can we be a little easier on ourselves? Show ourselves the same compassion we show everyone around us?
While many of us are in equal parenting partnerships - you may still be taking on too much. If you need help, it’s time to raise your white flag. Our happiness and well being are at stake - and we owe it to ourselves and our families to be happy and well. It's the best gift we can give them - better than chocolate chip pancakes on Sunday.
While each of our situations may be different, we all struggle (and thrive) through this time together. Although separated, I have never felt more connected and proud to be a part of a group of the strongest humans I know - Moms. YOU inspire me daily - wear this title with a badge of honor. We’ve been to war and back - we come out stronger each time - and the world is finally noticing.
YOU are a warrior. YOU are the strong ones. YOU deserve to be celebrated and YOU deserve to celebrate yourself. I wish you a moment to reflect on all you give your children and families and where they would be without you. Be proud - you are resilient - and you are magnificent.
Thank you for all you are doing and sacrificing. I see you - and I hope starting today you see yourself and all you are a little more clearly.
Rooting for you, from my messy house to yours - Happy Mother’s Day.
With love and so much respect,
A Fellow Momma (of littles, during quarantine)
on Mother’s Day
Karen Cook is a mom of two young girls living with her husband and family in LA. Founder and Chief Experience Officer of The Wyldflower Collective - a parent focused community providing joy-filled events and family retreats with an on-site supervised kids club - so we can catch a breath. (The next retreat: 9/25-28 in Big Bear is now on-sale) Follow her story on Instagram at www.instagram.com/thewyldflowerco